Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Why

Long day yesterday. Concert Thurs night. Worked the last 3 days (F,S,S) – 12 hour shifts. Had George's b-day bash Sunday night. Then Caiden yesterday AM. Yeah, exhausted to say the least...

Had a very rough morning yesterday morning...
The tumors in Caiden's eyes grew. There was a new tumor that was bigger than the "old" tumors that were already present. The tumors were near a blood supply that could potentially pick up a cancer cell (or more) and take it to the bones. If that were to happen, Caiden's life would be on the line as he has already exhausted every form of treatment available to him – chemo, radiation, criotherapy, etc… If he were to be treated w/ chemo / radiation, it would increase his risk significantly of developing new tumors elsewhere in the body - which would also be untreatable. Chemo is a poison and the body can only handle so much before it starts defeating the purpose. Everything that could medically be done has already been done. There's nothing left to do. It was time for the eye to come out. After the surgery, the doctor said the eye was hard and actively dying and shutting down. Caiden still had some vision left, but it was just a matter of time before he had none.

Going thru the questions Caiden and his brother and sister have are going to be the hardest for his parents, Jamie and Darci... "Where's my eye? Why is it dark?" are the first two Caiden has already asked. It's a struggle especially when trying to explain to a 4 y/o that his eyes are gone b/c they were very sick. It takes time for him to understand and he will be asking that question multiple times. You know, after walking out of that outpatient clinic into the gorgeous sunshine and beautiful day, I started to really take in my surroundings as I realized how much I take my vision for granted knowing Caiden just lost his...

Please pray not only for Caiden and his family but also the doctor as this has been his longest and toughest case - normally kids are treated in about a year or so and are good to go. This is only the 2nd time in his entire career that this doctor has had to remove both eyes. He is struggling just as much as we are. He's a fellow believer and a phenomenal doctor. I have so much respect for this man. He has a great heart.

Have these last 2 years been wasted in fighting and praying as it came to this point? No. God has done a lot of teaching to all of us in these past 2+ years. The hope is still there that God can provide a miracle of healing for Caiden. God is not done w/ Caiden. He has already used his story to reach and help many families in the community. You, Tommy and Brook, have taken his story to the community and brought them around Caiden and his family. We have heard countless stories of those praying for him. Those he has touched. Those his story has ministered to. Thank you for choosing to share his story. God is far from done w/ Caiden tho. He has a plan. Caiden may not have his visual site, but he does have every other sense to make up for it. In fact, he's already bouncing back. It's just a matter of time and healing and he will be back to running (yes, running) around the house w/ his brother, Bretten, guiding him to avoid all obstacles while Caiden runs oblivious to his surroundings – yes, this was happening already prior to the surgery. And Bretten, his big 5 y/o brother, has already volunteered to help him even more (Caiden is 4 y/o). ☺

Yes, there is a spiritual struggle as well. Trying to understand why it had to come to this. Why did God provide a miracle at the start of treatments 2 years ago, seeming to get our hopes up, then to have it come to this? It's a struggle to wonder why? Why God? Why? But in trying to understand it all, we see how God's hand is woven through it all - in what He has done in Caiden's life, how he has taught us so many life lessons and how He's used Caiden to strengthen our faith. Caiden is still a living testimony and God continues to use this vibrant curly red-headed kid to teach us how to live and breathe and just let life happen as we rest in our Father's arms watching Him work before our very eyes.

3 comments:

Chad Oneil Myers said...

Amanda,
I'm very sorry to hear about Caiden. I'll remember him in prayer.


I checked out your latest images...very cool! You definitely were up close and personal with all of them. Steven with the longer hair reminds me of how he used to look way earlier in his career. His images were my favorites that you took that night. That one of the DJembe and the hair was really cool too ;)

"And I will dance with Cinderella..." I know that had to be the song he was playing during some of those pics with the shadows behind him ;)

He's definitley in the "Gospel Music Hall of Fame" one of these days...along with Smitty and Mark Schultz ;)

Chad Oneil Myers said...

Amanda,
Yeah, I figured that the one guy on guitar was probably Steven's son. Had no idea that the long haired guy was too ;)

Steven was at "Night of Joy" also this time around. He performed at Cinderella Castle stage. I'm sure he did his new song ;) I was off seeing one of the other artists at that time.

...Oh yea, Sanctus Real was also there on that Friday night. They were performing at the Starlight Cafe in Tomorrowland, a smaller venue there. I saw a glimpse of them in passing and heard them singing "Face of Love". I would like to see a full set sometime, his voice is really cool and good.

It's interesting, you can tell how some artists have better vocals than others. I guess most have pretty good "studio" voices, but not all can sound great "Live". The Sanctus Real dude seems to have good all around vocals...so does Chapman.

Our buddy, Mark, doesn't always sound as good live (He's still "the Man" though) But, I've noticed that. His Studio work sounds good. I've also noticed that about Peter Furler of newsboys as well. His "Live" vocals aren't always as good as his album voice. But, he's still "the Man" too ;) Hey, they can all sing circles around me. I only try to sound like them in my car ;)

Chad Oneil Myers said...

Yeah, that's what I was talking about...studio magic.

During Night of joy, some of the better vocals that I heard were that of Jaci Velasquez and Bryan Littrell.

I'm so glad that I've been able to hear most of my favorite artists in concert.