Monday, January 14, 2008

Coming Back To My First LOVE.

Exhausted but still journaling... Tired, but still learning (as I just finished my third 12 hour day in a row in the NICU)... Just last week, I was disappointed that there was nothing to pick up at work as we were staffed well and our census of babies was down... Actually sounds like a good thing right? After all the complaining I've done that there are not enough nurses... I was like, "I NEED TO SAVE MONEY FOR SCHOOL! THERE'S NOTHING TO PICK UP AT WORK!" Then God reminded me that He always provides... And so He did. Wham! I had a three and a half hour meeting at work that carried over into another meeting (yes, I'm hourly :) ), then I was on-call for work last week for a day in case our transport team got called out... They did (X3) and I got another three and a half hours in. Then our census skyrocketed to the 90s again and I worked extra today which put me to three 12s in a row and plan to do it again THIS coming weekend. Needless to say, I'm exhausted and about to go have some quiet time with God, then SLEEP as I have to study tomorrow and the next three days to get into grad school... Then I will work Friday, Saturday and Sunday this coming weekend! (Yes, I picked up Friday as extra :D) I have a huge drive to study and work to save up for grad school.

So yes, I'm exhausted but driven. It's a good exhaustion. I love my job and just took care of two beautiful babies. One very, very sick, but stable for the time being. He actually improved over the last two days that I cared for him. Prayer works, that's for sure. Praying over my babies, over their lab work and such, works. I have seen it work countless times. God does amazing things. When I don't pray, nothing much happens, but when I do pray, things happen. Just lately, I've begun to realize that AGAIN. When I pray, things happen. I'm astounded by this again and again. Then I ask myself, WHY WHY WHY do I stray?? Why, when things start going well, do I stop spending time with my Father? He is the ONLY reason I exist. Just the other day, I found myself crossing the street at the light by the hospital and crossed too late... I found myself in front of a huge row of cross traffic - a sitting duck. Then one car went flying by me going at least 40mph. I was literally one step away from being hit. God literally protected me. If I would have been one step quicker... yeah, let's just say my life flashed before me then and many times since. A couple days before this happened, a friend of mine said I have lived a full life. I replied back, I hope not! I have a lot of living yet that I hope to do... go to grad school, go on more mission trips, lead mission trips, get married, have kids, see Christ return - that's my number one.

After God protected me from getting hit, that confirmed to me that God does indeed have more plans for my life. THANKFULLY!! I'm SO excited to see what those plans entail. I currently have several things in mind that God is leading me to... I'm co-leading the Song of Solomon Study with seven others. Then after that, I'm going to be one of the leaders on the mission trip to Honduras with WaYfm (www.WaY.fm Honduras '08) along with several friends of mine. You can see the video slideshow I created from last year's trip as it's posted on WaY.fm as well -> www.WaY.fm Jamaica Video. I can hardly wait for this trip!! God is good. I then look forward to attending grad school this fall - I have to apply yet, but my goal is to start this fall. I'm looking to either Vanderbilt University or Rush University to become a Neonatal Nurse Practitioner.

And as I look to my Heavenly Father for insight, wisdom and guidance, I come back to my first Love... As I allow Him to work in and through me to accomplish HIS will, He never ceases to amaze me in my everyday living. Father, You NEVER cease to amaze me as I breathe and allow life to happen.

Amanda taking off to Hungary into the sunset

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