Caiden just turned 4 years old on Wednesday, and he could be facing losing his other eye from cancer and from all the treatments it has received. His right eye is ultimately shutting down and dying. Even if his eye was cancer free, the eye is so worn out from treatments, that it can't recover anymore and is deteriorating. I could see the cells on the exterior part of his eye sloughing off when I went to see him today. It's makes me sick emotionally. He can hardly see anymore, but he's still as happy as can be. Yeah, he gets frustrated b/c he can't see well enough to do things he used to be able to do, but he's SO loving, so happy. We snuggled together today. He's the cutest boy friend I have ever had - wait, besides his brother, Bretten (5 y/o), he's the only boyfriend I've ever had ;) Every time I see him, he's so happy to be with me. I love his curly, vibrant red hair. His spunky personality. His love. His spontaneity. He's a cool kid. No, we aren't going to lose him, but he is losing his sight. Fortunately, he's young and will be able to make up for it in other ways. But the question remains... why? Why does this have to happen to a 4 y/o? Why do I have to watch two of my best friends struggle thru this as it weighs heavily on their hearts and minds?
The only hope is a cosmic sized miracle. The doctor is also heartbroken. He doesn't want to remove the eye either, but at this point, unless God intervenes and fully restores this eye, it could be removed on Sept. 24th. Please pray. I know God can fully restore Caiden's eyes. It's possible, but honestly I have a lack of faith in this area. I just don't see it happening. I know God is fully capable of restoring both of Caiden's eyes, so why He doesn't, I don't know. And I just don't see it happening. We just don't see miracles like that in this day in age. I believe it's fully possible, but I just don't see it happening... Am I that weak in the faith? No, b/c I know I'm not the only one who "doubts" it happening. The doctor, who is also a believer, said it would be a complete miracle if the eye was fully restored b/c nothing can be done medically to "fix" the eye. The damage has been done. He believes God can intervene as well and fully heal Caiden, but most of us are struggling with believing that it will happen.
Yes, I'm struggling personally as I know God can heal Caiden's eyes perfectly. I know He will one day when we all get to Heaven, but I don't see it happening on earth. You know, it's a real challenge spiritually when you know God can heal but chooses not too. I honestly don't hardly even know how to pray in this situation. I don't know what to pray for. I'm really struggling as I don't want to doubt but at the same time I want to live in reality and prepare my heart for what could most likely happen...
Please pray for Caiden. Pray for his parents. Pray for their extended family. Pray for their friends. Pray for me too. Pray for us as we live thru this and try to understand what is happening. I fully intend to be with them on September 24th (the date of his next eye exam) to fully support them whatever the outcome. That day could be either ecstatic (when God performs a miracle) or it could be devastating... Prayer works. I've seen it first hand. It works. Either way, I will never stop praising the Name of God. He is worthy of all praise as He never ceases to amaze me even when I don't fully understand His will as I know He will reveal it to me some day.
God is good... all the time.
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