Monday, October 27, 2008
Can God Change His Mind?
If God can change His mind, then can He lead us down one path, but then change our direction entirely and lead us down another path... as if He changed His mind?
My thoughts? Heck yeah, He can. Why not? God is God. There is no sin in Him and there is certainly no sin in changing your mind. There can be more than one right path for your life. It's truly your choice as to which path to go down - it's called free will. God, if you allow Him to, will guide you down the right path but the right path could be a choice as He can truly use you in multiple ways in multiple situations. He's GOD. Why couldn't He? Some of us worry and fret about making the right decisions for our lives. I know do too! What career should I follow? What school should I go to? Or should I even be in school? Where should I live? Who should I call my friends? Why do I worry? It's crazy because in reality, if done for the sole purpose of bringing glory to GOD's Name and not your own, His Name will be glorified in whatever path you choose to go down. He's GOD. He can use you in so many ways wherever you are.
For me, it was a choice of continuing on in grad school or being content as a registered nurse...
I guess my biggest news, if you haven't been up on the rumor mill, is that I'm not in school anymore. I decided to pull out after a month of intense studying and working. I was taking 13 credits and it was putting me over the edge. I attempted to cut back to part time but by then, I had had enough and the passion was just lost. I enjoyed what I was learning and was doing well, but it was so intense. I also really started to re-analyze what a Neonatal Nurse Practitioner (NNP) does, and mas o menos changed my mind about wanting to do that. The biggest thing that was the main deciding factor was that Spectrum Health was no longer hiring NNPs which would mean I would have to move out of state in order to get a job. Add to that a $40,000+ debt in this economy, it just didn't seem wise anymore - especially in Michigan. I'm settled in Michigan. I have an awesome job, along with my house and my family and friends close by. I have no desire to pick up my entire life by myself, leave all my family and friends behind, and start over alone. This world is too lonely and dark for that :( I love my job, my colleagues, the families I work with - especially the babies - as well as the intense A.D.D. environment I work in. Our unit is definitely one of the top and most advanced in the nation. It's amazing to learn how far ahead we are compared to many of the other NICUs!!
You may ask as one of my friends has asked me... What now?
I have no regrets for the path I have taken as so many amazing things happened the two times I was down in Nashville. I honestly believe it was God driven. He used me in the path I had taken and then completely changed my direction - it was a true 180. I am at peace with my path change. I believe God was at the helm of it and still is. My life has slowed way down and I'm enjoying it. I'm delving into God's Word more now than ever. I'm spending time with my family more now than ever. I'm spending real time with my family and friends, loving them and encouraging them in their walks with God - more now than ever. I LOVE this new assignment from God... Is it a cake walk? Definitely not!! There are many times where I wonder, God what are you doing? I'm not used to being "not busy". I need to be doing something, going somewhere... But, He's slowed me down for a reason and I'm learning to enjoy it and use it for His glory.
My work as a registered nurse in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit will continue. My place is at the bedside providing intense care for extremely sick babies. I LOVE working there. I love my colleagues, our docs, NNPs, office staff. I wouldn't trade my job for the world. I have been there since the day I graduated with from college - 3 1/2+ years - and I have no intention to leave. Here's to our neo team - those of you on Facebook and those of you who are not :)
Mission work!! I have a HUGE passion for mission work and caring for the least of these - especially orphans. I am seeking God's guidance and patiently waiting on Him to guide me in this area. It's just a matter of time. There are several areas that I am interested in but am choosing to wait on God's timing, guidance and direction ~ truly the safest place to be is in His arms awaiting His direction and assignment :) I love it when duty calls! It's an honor to be used by Him. His assignments are what make this life truly worth living for - no matter how difficult it is... <3
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Life & death. It's part of my job...
Our team is a real team. We stand together as one. We work side by side supporting each other as we fight for each baby's life. It's not an easy battle and we take it very seriously. The faces of everyone involved in the case mentioned above... heartbroken. The mood for the rest of the day... downtrodden... as we carried each other's burdens supporting each other as we could. Our hearts had been ripped out of our chests for these parents, this family, as we cried out asking, "Why do babies have to suffer? Why do bad things happen to good people?" I just don't get it...
But as tough as it gets in the NICU world, I absolutely love my job, our team, the parents, the families, the babies. I love the intensity. The A.D.D. environment. Makes me think extremely critically. Always on top of my game. I wouldn't trade it for the world. It's more than just feeding, changing diapers and rocking babies. Oh, so much more. If you ever get a chance to step into the NICU - try it some time - it'll change the way you look at the world. It's pretty amazing.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
A Moment I Will Never Forget... A moment with God & Chris Tomlin
I had such a moment about two weeks ago. I called up my good friend / adopted dad, Chris Lemke, to see if he was ready to head out to dinner that night. We both happened to be in Nashville at the same time, and we had planned ahead of time to do dinner together. He said, "Hold on, let me call you back." A few minutes later, he calls me back and says, "I"m on this street." I reply, "What's the cross street?" "Um... Hang on, let me talk to someone. You aren't too far from me b/c apparently I'm near Vanderbilt. Just start heading towards the right." "Ok. Let me get away from the hospital first." We hang up, then calls me back again and tells me the cross street. I'm like, "I just turned right onto that street! In fact, I see you now." "Oh ok..." We hang up, I pick him up at a light and we make another right. Chris is like, "I just came from a CD release party / platinum / gold album party for Chris Tomlin, and if you want, park here and I bet you can get a CD." I'm thinking inside my mind, "Heck, yeah!" I hadn't seen Chris Tomlin since GMA. I was more than geeked to see him at his very own private party, but if you know anything about me, I keep my feelings fairly internalized.
I manage to parallel park (with a lot of readjustments) and we head inside to an old church turned recording studio. You would never guess this was a recording studio from the outside. First impressions, this place is gorgeous! The first person Chris L introduces me to is Matt Maher, who is a songwriter, and writes music with Chris T. Very cool guy. I honestly didn't realize who he was till Chris L told me later.
I then looked up and saw Chris Tomlin on the stage getting his pic taken for a photoshoot of him and several people that helped him with his album. Chris L and I then move towards the stage, and the control room of the studio. I could see a full size grand piano in an adjacent room. He told me that this is one of the most expensive recording studios with one of the largest soundboards in the world. That board was HUGE. I'd say about 8-10 feet long. This studio was gorgeous!
We then went down from the stage, off to the side to watch Chris Tomlin do his photo shoot. Eventually Chris T's dad, mom, two brothers, sister-in-law and nephew get up there with him for a pic. I said to Chris L, "Where's his wife and kids?" Chris replied, "He's still single." What?! Serious?" The guy is so good looking and well established in a good music career, how could he be single?! "He told me he doesn't have time for a relationship," Chris said. WOW. I persisted to ask Chris more questions about him. I said, "When I talked with him at GMA for about 10 minutes, he was kind of hard to talk with and engage in conversation. Is this because he's not interested or...?" "He's on the quieter side and tends to be shy." "Ah. I see." Chris Tomlin glanced my way several times, probably wondering who the heck I was and what I was doing at his little private party. I kind of doubt he remembers me from GMA, but who knows! Very sweet guy though.
I am still in shock that Chris is single! What an inspiration. Chris L said he was going to introduce me to him, but it never happened. We walked right by him, but Chris L kept walking. I was kind of bummed but then thought, well, maybe it wasn't meant to be.
In looking back, I realized how random that moment in time really was. A divine appointment. God revealed to me the great things he can do through single people. It was Him telling me to chill out and relax... "Enjoy this life and all that I can do through you! Look what I have done through Chris Tomlin to glorify my Name, to bring people closer to Me. I can do that through you if you let Me." Chris L told me of Chris T's travels around the world. I remember the mission trips Chris Tomlin had told me that he'd been on when I talked to him back in April. God has used and is using this man to make a huge impact on this world for Christ.
It was a moment I will never forget. It was special. It was divine. God was there, I could sense His presence. It was a moment meant to be. I didn't ask for it. It happened. It was directed by God. I treasure this moment, and the album I received on my way out. Chris Tomlin's latest album, Hello Love. This album is incredible. I received an advance copy - before it hit the streets the very next week.
Although, I hope my prince charming sweeps me off my feet some day in the near distant future, this moment revealed to me that a season of singleness or even a lifetime of singleness is something to be treasured. God can use me in ways that He could not otherwise. Chris Tomlin is 34 years old. I am 25. A 9 year gap, but a gap that gives me hope that God has big dreams and plans for my life. Only He knows the plans He has for me. I lay my trust, heart and head in His arms of love and peace. <3
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Life in Nashville
In spite of their niceness, they still deal with the issues we do... I see the homeless people walking down the streets of Nashville. The drunk man who serenaded me last night while I was trying to study... The Vanderbilt professor who was killed within the last week in the east side of Nashville along with his sister... Shot point blank. And I happen to be staying on that end of town. I saw he TV helicopter circling around about 5-7 miles just south of me. Now that was scary. These issues don't disappear when you go to another town that you may think to be more fun than your own. When I was here back in April, the homeless were roaming the streets. They seemed to know "the Christians" were around b/c of the Gospel Music Association conference that was going on at the time of which I attended... They were closer to the Renaissance where we stayed - more so than what seemed normal. How many of us Christians walk by them everyday? How many times do we drive by them? Being a single girl by myself in Nashville right now, it's difficult to know how to help them. I couldn't do much for the drunk man last night b/c first, he wouldn't remember me anyway. Second, b/c I'm female and it's not exactly safe to do so. So what do we do? How do we be Jesus to these people? If I had an answer, I would surely give it to you, but I don't. Do you?
On the flip side, this town is SO much fun! Yes, those of you who have been to Nashville know there is so much more to do here than in Grand Rapids. The town, the sites, the people, the football games - both the Titans and college ball. The shows in the bars every night. The shows being put on in clubs all over the place. The shows at the auditoriums. TobyMac coming to town in December :) It's very hard to get bored here.
So are you starting to think I'm just partying over here? HA! Not so fast. I'm studying my behind off. Delving head first into anything and everything neonatal! So interesting, yet so overwhelming to cram it all into 11 months. I haven't been back to school for three years! I love this field of study though. It's detailed and I HAVE to be on top of my game at all times... for the littlest of patients are in my palms of my hands... as I think back to the one pound three ounce baby I admitted to the NICU just three weeks ago...
All credit is turned back to God. I take none for it. He alone has full control of ALL. He is the reason I why I make it through each and everyday!
All right, back to the books. Headed to downtown Nashville to study. Much more fun over there! Hope I can find a parking spot ;)
Friday, August 22, 2008
Have you ever cried so hard that it hurt?
Have you ever cried just to release it all? It's healthy to. I was literally crying out. It hurt so bad. My head, my heart. I woke up feeling like I had a hangover, even though I have never touched alcohol in my life. Some may think it's depression, and I know I had a depressed day today, which is not my norm. It took a while to recover, but I have and am...
I had a conversation last night with a good friend that brought out something that needed to be dealt with. I was upset with a situation and someone in particular that I was choosing to be cynical and catty about. It's not right ,and God finally called me out on it and made me deal with it. It was time to truly open up and clear the air. My friend now knows what the real situation was. It was a good dad / daughter like talk, and this conversation brought these thoughts, emotions and pain back to the surface. I had suppressed them for so long and was trying to forget them, that after we talked, they came right up. I couldn't handle it anymore.
That was just part of the tears. That convo put me over my limit as the stress and change happening in my life right now hit a peak. I'm seriously scared about starting school next week. I'm excited but scared to death. So much is changing. Will I be able to do it all? School, work, homework, clinical hours? Where's the money coming from? My social life will come to a halt for a year... Will my friends understand and stick around? Or will they run? Will I ever find Mr. Right? Do I really have to be patient? Do I have to wait on Your timing? Can You tell I'm freaking out? You know I like control!!
That's my problem... I like to be in control. I want to know what and when things are going to happen before they happen. I'm a thinker. I think 5-7 steps ahead of myself. But God's timing is perfect. He makes me wait. He knows I like to be in control and know what's going to happen. He knows so well that He in fact does reveal to me what's going to happen. Thing is, He doesn't tell me when! Which makes me kind of impatient...
No matter how crazed I feel, I know His ways are better than mine. His timing is better than mine. He's teaching me how to trust in Him. I love following Him and His leading. His ways are truly perfect. He has placed dreams and passions in my heart and soul that I'm just waiting on His timing for them to happen. It's so exciting!!
He works all things out for the good of those who love Him and keep His commands. Thank You, Abba Father. I belong to You. I trust Your timing, love and guidance. I trust Your heart. Wrap Your arms around me and just hold me for "I'm shaking like a leaf. You have been King of my glory, won't You be my Prince of Peace?" (Rich Mullins).
Monday, August 4, 2008
Living Out My Dreams for Such a Time as This
And where am I going? To Nashville! Vanderbilt University to be exact. Don't get me wrong, I'm not moving there as the entire program is online BUT I do get to go down there six times for the year long program. YES!! My first trip down for classes and orientation is the last week of this month and it's for a whole week! I'm soooo excited!! And I have a few friends down there that I hope to connect with which will be suhweet to see them. Can you tell I'm missin' Nashville right now? I went down there back in April with several really good friends and had SO much fun. Chris (aka. my adopted dad), Beth, Jordan, and George. One of the best trips I've ever been on. LOVE YOU GUYS!!
What am I going to school for? My masters degree to become a Neonatal Nurse Practitioner. I almost didn't make it b/c I almost quit when I realized how in depth study the GREs were. I never want to see that test EVER again. Ugh...
God never ceases to amaze me though. He has put the right people in my life at just the right time to encourage and support me to go for my dreams. He has also widely opened the doors of opportunity to make a difference in this world. Through my career as an RN in the Neonatal ICU, through cross-cultural mission trips, through my family and friends, through my beloved Bible study group, and in my very own neighborhood. I love people and being with them. I love listening to them and helping them in life. Loving people is one of my biggest passions in life. Christ needs to be first as I follow His leading...
Following Christ is one of the best ways to live b/c I've been on so many wild and crazy trips lately... but you know what? That's what makes life SO much fun! When Christ is living in and through you, you are truly living life to the fullest as He takes you on wild and crazy rides to impact a world in need of a Saviour.
Stay tuned... More to come! (...wow, I miss blogging... more can be found here: www.WaY.fm/connect/missons)
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Stepping Out Of Our COMFORT ZONE @ Modern Skate Park
Fast forward to last night... We got to the skate park wide-eyed and full of excitement as we endeavored on this new adventure (with Autumn threatening us if we broke a bone or seriously injured ourselves as we all have key roles on the mission team). We suited up in full body armor (well, knee pads, elbow pads, wrist guards and helmets - just to be safe), then strapped on our skates and headed for the ramps, half pipes and spine. Josh was the first out. I soon followed and quickly discovered that I had NO IDEA what I was doing. Having never done this before but coming with the skill of rollerblading on pavement, I thought I could adjust... Ha! Not so fast. This skate park was a world of its own. I looked around and all I saw were teen guys on skateboards and one or two in "boots" (as one teen called them - aka rollerblades). I quickly felt out of place, very much intimidated and almost ready to give up and leave as I was so out of my comfort zone...
To give you some perspective as many of you are teens - all four of us are in our mid-twenties and we have NEVER done this before. We've bladed before, but not at a skate park. We were surrounded by teen guys that had mucho experience at the half pipes, bowl and ramp. We came with NONE. We were very much out of our comfort zone. In fact, Dana and I were the only two girls out there. Not a female to be found ANYWHERE. But you know what? When I wanted to quit and run from embarassment, Josh was quick to say, "You did great!" "Good job!" "You look better." That kept me going. After our first hour out there and falling many times - funny, it doesn't hurt much to fall - we took a water break. I was ready to quit, but the guys headed back out for more "fun" and falling, while Dana, Autumn (our fearless cheerleader) and I sat and chatted for a bit. I thought I was done... Not so fast! Next thing I know, Dana asked me, "Ready to head back out?" I was thinking, "Are you crazy?! I am horrible at this!" But after a second thought and remembering I had paid $14 to do this, I agreed to venture out once more. We decided to try the small half pipe and spine (if you have no idea what I'm talking about, you'll see it in the video). And you know what?! We managed to conquer it! After falling several times, we learned to get over our embarassment as even the more experienced guys were falling. We realized we were amateurs, accepted it and were determined to accomplish the task at hand to the best of our ability. AND we succeeded! Josh even managed to survive the HUGE half pipe as you'll see at the end of the video...
So without further adieu, here is our accomplishment (with music credits to George Moss for allowing us to use one of my personal favorites from his album, All Or Nothing, "It Feels Good") Enjoy! ...
Intro with real time audio...
Conquering the BIG half pipe with real time audio...
Without the encouragement and support of my team, I would have quit after five minutes. But we chose to step out of our comfort zone, try something new, encourage each other when we got discouraged, and accomplish the task at hand. We even managed to befriend a couple of the guys as they taught us a thing or two :)
And that, my friend, is what we will be doing in Honduras. We will be completely out of our comfort zone, in another culture, speaking the "wrong" language as most of us only know English. In Honduras, all we will have are each other for support and encouragement when the going gets rough. But if we can survive a skate park on this side of the border, just imagine what God has in store for our team on the OTHER side of the border as we serve in His Name the children in Honduras.
That is our challenge to you...
Take a chance to help a friend, to try something new or to do something God has called you to do, therefore STEPPING OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE to make a difference for CHRIST.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Coming Back To My First LOVE.
So yes, I'm exhausted but driven. It's a good exhaustion. I love my job and just took care of two beautiful babies. One very, very sick, but stable for the time being. He actually improved over the last two days that I cared for him. Prayer works, that's for sure. Praying over my babies, over their lab work and such, works. I have seen it work countless times. God does amazing things. When I don't pray, nothing much happens, but when I do pray, things happen. Just lately, I've begun to realize that AGAIN. When I pray, things happen. I'm astounded by this again and again. Then I ask myself, WHY WHY WHY do I stray?? Why, when things start going well, do I stop spending time with my Father? He is the ONLY reason I exist. Just the other day, I found myself crossing the street at the light by the hospital and crossed too late... I found myself in front of a huge row of cross traffic - a sitting duck. Then one car went flying by me going at least 40mph. I was literally one step away from being hit. God literally protected me. If I would have been one step quicker... yeah, let's just say my life flashed before me then and many times since. A couple days before this happened, a friend of mine said I have lived a full life. I replied back, I hope not! I have a lot of living yet that I hope to do... go to grad school, go on more mission trips, lead mission trips, get married, have kids, see Christ return - that's my number one.
After God protected me from getting hit, that confirmed to me that God does indeed have more plans for my life. THANKFULLY!! I'm SO excited to see what those plans entail. I currently have several things in mind that God is leading me to... I'm co-leading the Song of Solomon Study with seven others. Then after that, I'm going to be one of the leaders on the mission trip to Honduras with WaYfm (www.WaY.fm Honduras '08) along with several friends of mine. You can see the video slideshow I created from last year's trip as it's posted on WaY.fm as well -> www.WaY.fm Jamaica Video. I can hardly wait for this trip!! God is good. I then look forward to attending grad school this fall - I have to apply yet, but my goal is to start this fall. I'm looking to either Vanderbilt University or Rush University to become a Neonatal Nurse Practitioner.
And as I look to my Heavenly Father for insight, wisdom and guidance, I come back to my first Love... As I allow Him to work in and through me to accomplish HIS will, He never ceases to amaze me in my everyday living. Father, You NEVER cease to amaze me as I breathe and allow life to happen.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Livin' it up & Luvin' life
My friends have been all off for Christmas break, so being able to chill with them the last week and a half has been a complete blast. Started out by having a huge party at my house with Zach, Jon, David, Amanda, Adam, Autumn, Alyssa, George, Juice, Joel, Rick, George, Erin & Beth! SO much fun! My house was so trashed by the time all was said and done ~ after pizza, pop, Murder in the Church, Hide'n'Seek, Nerf Airgun wars, party in a 10 by 10 room, Sardines, Guitar Hero, Soccer & Football outside, talking, more eating, talking, talking, talking! One of the best parties I have EVER had!!
PLUS my sister, Amanda, is home from Word of Life Bible College in Hungary where she's been the last three months... I've so missed her and it's been great hanging out with her as I've only been able to talk to her via Skype and Facebook. Hanging out with her in person as much as possible this last week has been AMAZING. Love you sista!!
I also met a friend of mine for the first time ever in person at the party at my house Saturday... It was so cool to hear his voice in person, on the phone Friday then in PERSON AT MY HOUSE!!! We have NEVER MET before except on Skype through Amanda. George is from Romania but working in Hungary at the same school my sister Amanda is attending. We randomly met through Skype. I thought I was talking to Amanda, but come to find out he was mistakenly logged in as her and didn't know she had still been logged in as he was fixing her computer. We instantly became friends and talked for about two hours on Skype, then we became Facebook friends, then God allowed us to meet in person for the first time at the party at my house. Total God-thing. This was his first time in the States and he stayed with friends of his who live literally 1.6 miles (that's for you George and that milk shake I still owe you) from my house. Then come to find out, I coached his friend's sister in volleyball. This world is only getting smaller the more I get to know more people. God is amazing. George and I were able to hang out together for three nights in a row - usually with my sister, Amanda, since she is good friends with him. It was fun to get to know George and hang out with him as I was his set of wheels for those three days (seems to be a theme for many of my friends :) ). God works in amazing ways. Just to think that three months ago we were just chatting on Skype never thinking we would actually meet face to face. We then found ourselves Christmas night sitting face to face one on one getting to know each other in person. After he went back to his friend's house, I went to bed that night just mind-boggled that this guy from the other side of the world just hung out with me all night and we only met on Skype three months ago... How often does that happen?
I have also found myself to become very good friends with George Moss as I am his street team and promotions director. I love it!! I find myself hanging out with George for at least one day a week whether we are in the studio ~ him recording his album - me capturing these moments on tape; checking out a venue for the CD release party, discussing promotions and street team stuff, being a sound board for each other on anything and everything in life, hitting up Bible study or challenging each other to a game of Blokus. ha ha... After Bible study one night, George and our friends from Bible study introduced me to Blokus at Applebees... SO much fun! Then George, Amanda, George (from Romania) and I challenged each other to Blokus in a coffee shop just the other night... Yes, it was two Amandas and two George's challenging each other in Blokus! How confusing is that? ;) ha ha... George and I both beat George (from Romania) and Amanda... ha ha! yes, George, we TIED :p
Another night of fun is planned for New Year's as we all hit up the New Year's Eve party with WaYfm... So many friends to celebrate the new year with!! Don't plan to sleep at all as several of my friends are staying the night at my place. Sledding at 3am sounds like a blast doesn't it? haha ... sleep? what's that? who needs it??
God is AMAZING!! I LOVE MY FRIENDS...
Friday, December 21, 2007
All I Really Want For Christmas
One my dreams someday... to adopt. My dream has always been China, but I'm open to where God leads. Some day when Mr. Right comes aknockin' I know it will happen. I keep saying, if I'm not married by 30, I'm adopting my girls from China - except China will not allow singles to adopt anymore. Therefore, I may be looking to Korea as their kids are just as cute ...or any country God has in mind. I'm open and willing to go where He leads. This song has touched my heart since it came out... I created a slideshow of pics from Blossom Garden Orphanage, the home for disabled and home for troubled boys and set it to this song by Steven Curtis Chapman, All I Really Want For Christmas. All three of those places are located near Montego Bay, Jamaica, which is where the WaYfm mission team served this past summer (of which I was very much apart of).
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Blokus Addicts
George introduced me to Blokus last week. I think he had been introduced to it by Greg a couple weeks prior and has been playing online since... therefore learning all the strategies so he could beat us all!
Anyway, last Tuesday after Bible study five of us headed to Applebees, Blokus in hand. Yes, we played Blokus in Applebees while enjoying our half price appetizers :) I had never played before and neither had Matt or Anthony. We played from 10:30p- 11:55p. Matt and Anthony rotated through while George, Liz and I were not giving up our spots. I was hooked after game one. It gets brutal! As Liz likes to say... friendships can be ruined over this game! I tend to agree that that could happen if played often enough... ha ha. (But I hope your friendships are deeper than that!)
It had been a week since I played last and I had been wanting to play more with no means to! After Bible study last night, George, Liz, Matt and I headed over to George's place with Blokus in hand! Woohoo!! (We had to beg and plead Joey - our fearless leader's son - to let us borrow it again. Thanks, Joey!!) Once at George's, a rousing game of Blokus was at hand. Next thing we know, Jason and Josh show up ready to chill out w/ us. Then Brad came as well as Anthony! Good times :) After two games of Blokus, Josh was intrigued enough to join. He had never played before but after game one, was hooked :)
As I said, all it takes is one game and you're addict. Tonight, I found myself to be fairly bored (as my house is torn apart and TV unplugged in anticipation for my new carpet to be laid in the morning!!), and remembered Blokus can be played online and globally! Yeah!! Sadly though, I lost to a Canadian... He did tell me he had been playing for two months now whereas I've only played on a board for a week. The game he had me play was a board that was the shape of a hexagon (vs. a square) and we each played two colors instead of one. I had never played that way before and therefore lost miserably. But you can be sure I'll be getting more practice so I can beat George (not tie, BEAT!) next time we play!! Plus, I gotta keep up with Josh as I can about imagine he had his entire office to playing online today :)
Any other Blokus addicts out there??
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
5 friends, 4 morning shows, 4 radio stations.
Honestly, I mainly enjoy listening to them talk instead of listening to the music. Much more entertaining. In fact, I wish they did more talking in the morning AND that they'd all synchronize it so I could flip from one station to the next so that as one ended his break, I could flip to the next and catch that break from the start, then go to the next, then the next... There's an idea! Then I could set my Sony digital tuner to all four stations and flip from one to the next to the next to the next and not miss a thing!
Fortunately for the afternoons and evenings, I only have to tune in to WaYfm for my friends... Mike Couchman, George Moss and DJ Mystery. Makes my listening decision SO much easier.
Who do you enjoy listening to? Does anyone else share my dilemma? Talk to me! Love to hear from ya!
Monday, December 3, 2007
In the Waiting that leads to the ACTION
God never ceases to amaze me. It was tough going through that waiting period as I was starting to get depressed and wondering what God was doing in my life. But you know what? That was when I started to seek God again. It forced me to get down on my knees to search for His will. I really started to read the Bible and the book I've been reading lately, David, A Man of Passion & Destiny by Chuck Swindoll. Looking for God's teaching to challenge me to grow spiritually and to deepen my relationship with Him. It worked and I love it! This waiting period also forced me to start journaling again. That is how I pray and talk to my Father in Heaven ~ I journal. I had stopped for a while b/c there was one thing going on in my life that I had hoped would come to fruition that I had been journaling about asking God for guidance and wisdom ~ to which God said no to. I was so discouraged that I stopped journaling. I just couldn't do it anymore. I didn't turn my back on God, but I stopped deeply talking to Him. Also when I left the radio stations and was going off in an entirely new direction ~ I didn't deeply seek God's will. I knew He was leading me away from the stations and back to school but I was flying by the seat of my pants. Therefore, God decided it was time to put me in the waiting period. He put my life completely on hold and said, "Stop. Come back to me. I love you and know what's best for you. Stop trying to go your own way. I know what's best. Seek ME first for guidance, insight and wisdom. Don't think you know what's best or think you know what I'm telling you as you really don't know until you LISTEN to Me. The only way you can listen to me is if you stop and seek Me. I will give you the answer, the wisdom, the insight, the guidance, and ultimately the desires of your heart. Only I can do that. Seek Me."
I did and life has become SO much clearer now. I feel as though I have a clearer understanding of God's will for my life. I think I have finally decided on what school to attend for grad school. I'm at peace about it even though I have a lot of work ahead of me to accomplish that goal. I would appreciate your prayers for me in this for I have to take the GRE to get into grad school. And the school I have chosen - all online courses but will have to travel to the school four to six times - is very expensive. I will be saving like a madwoman over the next 10 or so months before starting school next fall so I can avoid as much debt as possible!
So what school am I looking at to attend? Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tennessee. They are a very good school and have a strong online program that will allow me to study from home. I will have to travel down there four to six times for five-day block classes over the course of a year to year and a half. I am really looking forward to actually going down there as I have never been to Nashville but hear it is a fun city to visit. Plus I have several friends who have been there that can give me the low down about where to go and what to do while I'm not studying or attending class :) The rest of the program will allow me to "attend" class online as well as do my residency in my NICU here at home. (I'm going for my masters to become a Neonatal Nurse Practitioner.) Our nursery is a level three nursery and we are a teaching hospital - which is the same as Vanderbilt. Plus we are one of the biggest Neonatal ICU's in the country as we have anywhere from 70-100+ babies at any given moment, and I will definitely get the experience I need to become the best NNP possible. My biggest hurdle is taking the GRE as this school requires it. I have started studying for it and it is a mountain to climb. A bit intimidating but I'm driven and determined to conquer this mountain. Please pray for me. It's a bit overwhelming, but doable. I'll be studying for about six weeks or so - whatever it takes to feel somewhat comfortable to sit down and take the test.
Honestly, I'm looking forward to going back to school to learn more about the neonate - in depth learning about the smallest patient you will ever see or care for. ...Imagine a baby where his length extends from the tip of your fingers to just outside the palm of your hand. Imagine a head that you can almost wrap your entire hand around. Imagine a foot that is the size of the pad of your thumb. Imagine a leg that is the length of your middle finger. Imagine a heart that is slightly smaller than a quarter - imagine having to perform surgery on that heart. Now imagine being the mom or dad of someone so small, so fragile. Now imagine being the nurse, the doctor, the nurse practitioner, the respiratory therapist responsible for the care of someone so small in this battle for life. They don't all start out that small... Some start out at three to four pounds or even term size and become really sick that require significant care. But no matter their size, they baffle you at their fight for survival. They surprise you when they make it through when all seems lost. And they make you proud when they come back to visit walking and talking, making your day knowing you made a big difference in their little lives...
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
In the recording studio w/ George
so much of listening, re-recording, replaying ...to get it perfect. first you record one layer, then another and another, oh and one more... oh and anthony, add another layer of you free stylin' it for one more. you get a full sound and it sounds as if there are multiple vocalists - when really it's just ANTHONY and KEISHA and not 5 others behind them! deb is a slave driver for sure. she made sure anthony and keisha hit their notes perfectly. keisha was da bomb. definitely a professional. anthony took a few more cuts to get it right but rocked fo sho! he's got class. very entertaining to watch :) yeah anthony!
george, he just sat behind the scenes tonight directing how everything was to go. we recorded much of the title track, All Or Nothing, tonight. anthony laid down his vocals tonight for the chorus - several layers. he did melody, while keisha did harmony. sounded phenomenal. rocked it out fo sho. actually all or nothing is a much more mellow song compared to whoa. slows things down a bit, which every album needs.
keyboard track and drums were also laid down today for all or nothing. sounded real good. anthony was on keys as well as drums. deb laid down the bass. she's the behind the scenes producer and fills in where needed. she's definitely professional too. music teacher by trade, album producer by night. :)
good times. in fact, i'm currently listening to four different tracks for the album that are partially done. it's awesome. can't wait for ya'll to hear it!
as george's street team director, i want to direct you (no pun intended) to join george's street team for access to all behind the scenes footage and exclusives coming soon! look forward to seeing you there!! www.g-moss.com
Friday, November 16, 2007
Live in the God Moments
For those of you who didn't know me back in the day... What exactly did I change and why did it affect who I am? Well, I used to have very short hair - comparable to that of a guy. I have been actually been called a boy several times in my life (and people seriously and genuinely thought I was a boy). I never used to wear makeup or manicure my eyebrows. I also didn't wear in-style clothing. Nowadays, you will find me with long hair, makeup, manicured eyebrows and in-style clothing. None of which I did while growing up as my mother never taught me to. Therefore, I had to teach myself. I chose to give myself a full makeover over the course of a couple years. I started with my clothes and eyebrows. Then moved onto my hair. The hair took the longest!! Then moved onto makeup and shoes.
Granted appearance isn't everything, but in today's society, it is vital to survival. In today's world, so much emphasis is placed on physical outer appearance. Back in the day, when I wasn't so stylish, I was rejected. Not accepted. Ignored. Not respected. Just as Mia was in Princess Diaries. Both of us, respectable, loving people, were completely disregarded in society due to our lack of style and appearance.
Why? Why was that the case? Why do we place SO much emphasis on appearance? Why is it SO important to look just so or to wear this or that instead of that or this? Why do we shun and ignore each other if we don't look like America's next top model?? I take the blame too... Notice I used the word "we" - to include me. I am just as guilty as the next person.
You know, now that I have changed my appearance, just as Mia Thermopolous did in Princess Diaries, my self-confidence, self-esteem and outlook on life has completely changed. I feel pretty now. I feel loved by more people than just my family. I feel accepted. I feel like a leader. Maybe that's why What Not to Wear on TLC has become so popular and is also one of my favorite TV shows. I have learned so much on how to dress and how to do my makeup from watching that show alone. I now put things together or wear different outfits I would not have dared tried before. So much fun! Again, emphasis put on outward appearance... Once I started looking the part, people started to accept me more readily. I have more friends now than I ever have. I love it and definitely don't take ANY of you for granted but at the same time...
It really makes me question the same question my friend asked on his blog recently (WaY.fm/john)... Is it genuine? Is it authentic? When we place so much emphasis on outward appearance, are we really loving people for who they are as a person or are we loving them for how they look? It again makes me question, do people really love or like me for me? What if I didn't look like this? What if I still looked like I did back in the day? Would I still receive this much respect from those around me?
You know, when I don't feel pretty, I think people are going to shun me or not like me for me. There are many times when I don't feel pretty, and I worry that people will reject me. So when I'm not all "dolled up", when I don't have any makeup on or when I'm in my scrubs or in my lounge pants while I'm out in public, I am extremely self-conscious b/c I'm afraid of rejection. I'm afraid of being shunned or ignored. I'm afraid that people won't like me for me just as they did in elementary school, middle school and my first two years of high school.
But then God reminds me that APPEARANCE IS NOT EVERYTHING!! It's your HEART. You need to be beautiful on the inside before you can be beautiful on the outside. Once you are well manicured on the inside, it will shine full force to the outside as you will be blazing bright with the glory of God as He shines through you. Then those around you will no longer see you. They will see Christ.
One thing I have always valued as a result of being ignored and shunned while growing up is the fact that I have learned how to get to know the heart of a person. I no longer take appearance as the end all. I take time to get to know a person's heart. Some of the toughest people I have ever met have the greatest hearts deep down, but it takes a persistent person to find it - to get beyond the walls they have built up over the years to protect themselves. Deep down they have a tender loving heart, and it's amazing to see that heart blossom when they allow it. You know it's there and if you watch closely enough, you will see rays of love and tenderness peek through the cracks in the walls. Those are God moments :)
My challenge to you... Be real. Be authentic. Love the heart of the person ~ the true treasure of God.
Live in the God moments.
Monday, November 5, 2007
Friday, November 2, 2007
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Set the World on Fire (Britt Nicole) 2
Where does that leave me today? As I look to grad school and decide where to go... Do I relocate? Do I stay where I am and take online courses? What do I do? God has finally given me clarity. After tons of prayer of my own and my family and friends all asking for clarity and guidance, God has told me to stay right where I am. Where He has placed me. He can do more with me where I am in the here and now. He has surrounded me with amazing people - family and friends. To leave that for school and money would most likely devastate me. Last night at Bible study, one of the girls received a phone call from her mom saying that her brother almost attempted suicide. He had left home to go to school about an hour and half away. He was stressed beyond belief and had no one to vent to. That hit home real hard for me. That could have been me. Away from my entire support system. Stressed with work and school and no one to turn to or vent to. No shoulder to cry on. I could have been that person wanting to end it all b/c I was so stressed out and far from my support system. I'd like to think I'm stronger than that but at the same time, I've never been in that kind of situation w/o some kind of support system.
God has surrounded me with my new friends in Bible study - (sidenote) S.O.S ROCKS MY WORLD. Be ready for the next one - if you have never done this series - DO IT!!! It's for married, dating and singles alike. We happen to be a group of all singles - guys and girls - but anyone can do it. It will change your life!! It is a series by Tommy Nelson (www.songofsolomon.com). It is amazing. Our entire group is fired up over this. It blows our minds. God never ceases to amaze us. (end sidenote :) ).
God has also surrounded me with my Jamaica family. So many good friendships there. I love my family. Also I have my immediate family nearby. Plus a mission trip or two in the planning for the near future with more friendships and leadership opportunities to be had. Honduras with WaYfm is something I am really looking forward to.
Plus I have my house! I love my cozy house that I'm slowly fixing up and have several projects in the works.
I also have an awesome job and work with amazing people. My managers, coworkers and docs love me. And I love working with them.
To leave all this behind for money - which turned out to not be as great as what I thought - so NOT worth it. Ya'll are stuck with me a bit longer... but for some reason I don't think that will be too much of a problem :p
I have peace. I'm so at peace and relaxed about this decision. To stay home and study online for my masters - total peace. No stress. Just peace. God is good. He has made Michigan my home. My roots are deep. I do have dreams to go elsewhere to be used by God, but my roots are deep here. This is my base. A place where I will always call home. I may come and go from here and there, but I will always come home.
And as for a sign off to this post, let me introduce you to my twins. You may remember hearing a little about them in previous posts (and if you know me, you know they are not "mine"). With permission from their mom to share this, here is their picture debut on my blog... Harrison and Natalie...
