In the Waiting that leads to the ACTION

Have you ever felt as though you are in a waiting period where it seems as though nothing is currently happening? Then bam! Everything hits, things start happening and life gets exciting again! I have recently experienced this. There were a couple weeks that it just felt like I took a break from life. I didn't pick up extra at work. I didn't do much around the house. I just chilled and thought. God slowed me down to the point where I realize that I wasn't spending enough time with Him... Seeking His direction in life and looking to Him for wisdom, insight and guidance in life. In that waiting, I really started to seek Him. As soon as I started looking to Him, the waiting STOPPED, and life took off again! God took me out of the waiting period to ACTION!

God never ceases to amaze me. It was tough going through that waiting period as I was starting to get depressed and wondering what God was doing in my life. But you know what? That was when I started to seek God again. It forced me to get down on my knees to search for His will. I really started to read the Bible and the book I've been reading lately, David, A Man of Passion & Destiny by Chuck Swindoll. Looking for God's teaching to challenge me to grow spiritually and to deepen my relationship with Him. It worked and I love it! This waiting period also forced me to start journaling again. That is how I pray and talk to my Father in Heaven ~ I journal. I had stopped for a while b/c there was one thing going on in my life that I had hoped would come to fruition that I had been journaling about asking God for guidance and wisdom ~ to which God said no to. I was so discouraged that I stopped journaling. I just couldn't do it anymore. I didn't turn my back on God, but I stopped deeply talking to Him. Also when I left the radio stations and was going off in an entirely new direction ~ I didn't deeply seek God's will. I knew He was leading me away from the stations and back to school but I was flying by the seat of my pants. Therefore, God decided it was time to put me in the waiting period. He put my life completely on hold and said, "Stop. Come back to me. I love you and know what's best for you. Stop trying to go your own way. I know what's best. Seek ME first for guidance, insight and wisdom. Don't think you know what's best or think you know what I'm telling you as you really don't know until you LISTEN to Me. The only way you can listen to me is if you stop and seek Me. I will give you the answer, the wisdom, the insight, the guidance, and ultimately the desires of your heart. Only I can do that. Seek Me."

I did and life has become SO much clearer now. I feel as though I have a clearer understanding of God's will for my life. I think I have finally decided on what school to attend for grad school. I'm at peace about it even though I have a lot of work ahead of me to accomplish that goal. I would appreciate your prayers for me in this for I have to take the GRE to get into grad school. And the school I have chosen - all online courses but will have to travel to the school four to six times - is very expensive. I will be saving like a madwoman over the next 10 or so months before starting school next fall so I can avoid as much debt as possible!

So what school am I looking at to attend? Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tennessee. They are a very good school and have a strong online program that will allow me to study from home. I will have to travel down there four to six times for five-day block classes over the course of a year to year and a half. I am really looking forward to actually going down there as I have never been to Nashville but hear it is a fun city to visit. Plus I have several friends who have been there that can give me the low down about where to go and what to do while I'm not studying or attending class :) The rest of the program will allow me to "attend" class online as well as do my residency in my NICU here at home. (I'm going for my masters to become a Neonatal Nurse Practitioner.) Our nursery is a level three nursery and we are a teaching hospital - which is the same as Vanderbilt. Plus we are one of the biggest Neonatal ICU's in the country as we have anywhere from 70-100+ babies at any given moment, and I will definitely get the experience I need to become the best NNP possible. My biggest hurdle is taking the GRE as this school requires it. I have started studying for it and it is a mountain to climb. A bit intimidating but I'm driven and determined to conquer this mountain. Please pray for me. It's a bit overwhelming, but doable. I'll be studying for about six weeks or so - whatever it takes to feel somewhat comfortable to sit down and take the test.

Honestly, I'm looking forward to going back to school to learn more about the neonate - in depth learning about the smallest patient you will ever see or care for. ...Imagine a baby where his length extends from the tip of your fingers to just outside the palm of your hand. Imagine a head that you can almost wrap your entire hand around. Imagine a foot that is the size of the pad of your thumb. Imagine a leg that is the length of your middle finger. Imagine a heart that is slightly smaller than a quarter - imagine having to perform surgery on that heart. Now imagine being the mom or dad of someone so small, so fragile. Now imagine being the nurse, the doctor, the nurse practitioner, the respiratory therapist responsible for the care of someone so small in this battle for life. They don't all start out that small... Some start out at three to four pounds or even term size and become really sick that require significant care. But no matter their size, they baffle you at their fight for survival. They surprise you when they make it through when all seems lost. And they make you proud when they come back to visit walking and talking, making your day knowing you made a big difference in their little lives...