When you think you've had enough. When you think life just isn't going your way. When you think you've had one too many "no's", God sends you a gentle yet subtle reminder that YOU are not in control.
This last week has been one of the roughest weeks for me. Caiden didn't have the outcome we were hoping and praying for. A dream of mine that I've had for about a year came crashing down. God said no. In fact, He said no twice to me in one week. Yeah, it's been rough to say the least... As it all begins to become a reality. As it all begins to sink in... I am learning to realize that I need to let go of my will and accept God's. For He is in control, not me. Last week was such a whirlwind, that I'm finally beginning to take the time to allow it to sink in as God slowly reveals to me His greater plan. It's not easy accepting two big No's from God in one week's time. But He is indeed in control as he revealed that to me once again tonight...
After a long day at work in the NICU - answering alarms, working with the docs, NNPs, my colleagues and RTs; as well as trying to keep my babies happy, well oxygenated and digesting their 1.5 - 3 mL of food every 3 hours; and also meeting the needs of parents, including allowing a first time mom to hold her 2 pound baby for the first time... after these 12+ hours of constantly giving of myself as my mind still wandered over the past week, God gave me a subtle, yet gentle, reminder. A whisper. How, you may ask? My unit had ordered Chinese take-out today and on my way out, I happened to grab a fortune cookie that read, You need not worry about your future.
How true. How I so needed to be reminded of that right then and there and now. God is in control. I DON'T need to worry about my future. He IS in control. His will is always better than mine for He sees the bigger picture while I see through but a small window of one scene from that picture.
God is in control... I need not worry about my future. For He will reveal it to me as I live day by day as I remember to just breathe and let life happen.
2 comments:
Cool image there, Amanda. Good job to use the flash with the sun behind you.
Amanda,
Thanks for the well wishes. I'm headed up to Pennsylvania at the end of the week to visit my parents and other good friends. I'll be photographing a lot of stuff and doing some shoots with my Dad and my cousins...one photogaphs...one lets me photograph her ;)
I'm definitely planning on sharing my best stuff from the trip and of course a few stories ;)
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